Riverdale promo photo

Betty Cooper is a force to be reckoned with, and she’s putting all of her energy into preparing a Riverdale High team for the Regional Quiz Show Finals. Of course, the school they will likely be up against in the end is Stonewall Prep, and the leader at their helm is the infuriating Bret Weston Wallis. 

Archie’s Uncle Frank will be starting his job as a foreman at Andrews Construction. It doesn’t feel right to me, especially when we learn that the acting-foreman, Mr. Keller, wasn’t even given a heads up that he was being replaced. I mean that’s just disrespectful, in my opinion. The fact that he ends up letting his crew leave work early every day and then fights Mr. Keller, yeah, Uncle Frank just needs to go.

Yeah, no, she’s just processing

Betty says she is happy and proud of Jughead when he lets her know that he has been accepted into Yale. She leaves his room at Stonewall Prep looking slightly forlorn, but that turns into anger when she literally runs into Bret in the hallway. He pours salt into the Yale wound by letting her know that he was also accepted. Yale being Betty’s college of choice, it stings just a little to know she didn’t make the cut, but Juggie and Bret did.

Maple-based concoction

Finally, we see Veronica actually in high school! Veronica and Cheryl work together on their rum recipe. The two girls ask their science teacher if he will analyze their rum. They want to make sure it is different enough from the Lodge Rum to sell it without being sued by Veronica’s father.

By changing the base of the rum to maple syrup, instead of molasses, the DNA of the sum has changed by 51%. Veronica declares her father-daughter rum war. Foolish mortal. Why in the world did they confront Mr. Lodge? WHY!? It could have been smooth sailing or at least smoother sailing, but NOOOO. Veronica and Cheryl reopen Le Bonne Nuit as a dance club, since it can no longer sell alcohol thanks to Daddy Mayor. However, they decide to serve mocktails and hand out samples of their rum. Since Daddy Mayor had a heads up about all of this, he ends up having the police raid the club. Of course, they find the bottles of rum, which are not allowed to be there, and so in an ever-so-professional manner… he takes a sledgehammer to them. Right.

Cheryl comes up with an idea to relocate the maple rum business elsewhere. Mumsie’s old brothel. Eck. This does not sound like women’s empowerment to me. Especially when I see the handcuffs and red whip-like items on the wall in the background. Ok, the girls think they can turn this into a “grade A” social club, and they hire Cheryl’s mom, pending she wears a mask and an ankle bracelet. So weird.

The Baxter Brotherhood

Mr. DuPont lets Jughead know that his first draft as a ghostwriter is not going to make the cut. He is told to consider writing a mystery about a serial killer. I’m starting to see where this is going. Viewers are probably not surprised when Jughead goes to Betty’s brother Chuck for guidance on this topic. Psycho Chuck is an FBI agent who has dealt with many serial killers after all.

Looks like the writers of the show are going to tie together some loose pieces from their multiple plot lines. Especially when Jughead pitches a variety of ideas to the “Baxter Brotherhood” which all get shot down until he pitches a story about the Black Hood. He calls the killer the “Brown Hood” instead. How original.

Let’s! Get! Quizzy!

Betty and Veronica
Riverdale — “Chapter Sixty-Eight: Quiz Show” — Image Number: RVD411a_0174.jpg — Pictured (L-R): Lili Reinhart as Betty and Camila Mendes as Veronica — Photo: Cate Cameron/The CW– © 2020 The CW Network, LLC All Rights Reserved.

Thanks to the final question of this competition being about cars, Bret is unable to pull the right answer out of his ass. Betty’s team wins the competition AND she didn’t use the cheats that her mom had slipped her way. Betty’s mom drives me crazy, she needs to have a little more faith in her daughter. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter that she didn’t use the cheats, because someone finds out. The answers get taped back together, and when Betty gets to school the next day, they are in the possession of Principal Honey. Betty gets suspended, and Alice’s boss puts her on leave.

What happens next? A duel of course! No, I’m not kidding, clearly, the only logical way to get fix this situation is for Jughead to challenge Bret to a duel. Especially since Bret outed the “Brown Hood” storyline to Betty. That’s what bullies do, they cut down people.

Anyway, this coupled with the fact that Chuck tells Betty that she didn’t get into Yale because her father was a serial killer. Which means all of her after school activities, her 4.1 GPA, and her stellar ambition is just not enough to get out from under the shadow of her dad. Time to pull out the sledgehammer that Riverdale writers like so much…Betty destroys her father’s tombstone.

Yay, Kevin is back, I’m tickled!

Ew. I don’t care how much money a teenage kid can make creating videos online. This seems inappropriate and unnecessary. I mean great laugh or not, getting paid to be tickled on camera is just weird. I don’t like it. How does Kevin get himself into these situations? His father is the retired police chief for Pete’s sake! He should know better!

The fact that he tries to woo Fang back by suggesting they record tickle videos together is just nauseating. Please do not continue this fetish storyline, CW. Kevin deserves better, and so does Fang for that matter.

Watch again when the show comes back next Wednesday on The CW, or tune back in on The Painted Lines for our recap.