“Thanksgiving. A time of year when friends and family gather to eat turkey, watch the big game, and give thanks for all they have.” This year, however, is the first Riverdale Thanksgiving without Archie’s father.

Hiram Lodge ran unopposed and became Mayor, virtually overnight.

Dodger’s family wants revenge for him being assaulted and found by Archie, bleeding out in front of the community center. Was Hiram Lodge behind this attack? Archie had asked him for help after all.

Archie and Monroe are having Thanksgiving dinner for all the community center kids. I have to admit that the kids seem pretty psyched. Of course, Veronica provides a boatload of delicious-looking food, and Archie plans to deep fry a turkey.

Jughead’s fill-in teacher, Mr. DuPont, says that Mr. Chipping killed himself due to alcoholism. The man didn’t leave a note before running himself through his classroom and out a stained-glass window… while the window was closed.

Biblical ice storm in Riverdale

Betty is on the way to visit Jughead at Stonewall Prep and says that nothing will keep her away. Then she takes an early train to get there sooner AND makes sure they catch up on some “bow chicka wow wow” time. Right around the same time, Alice looks into getting it on with FP. Alice and Jughead’s dad. Betty and Jughead.

Cheryl says a category four ice storm is heading towards Riverdale. She tells Toni that they can dump Uncle Bedford in the Sweetwater River before the storm. She then illustrates that by the time spring comes around that all of the salmon will have “gobbled out his eyes.”

Mayor Lodge has told FP to let Archie know they need to shut down the community center. Turns out the boys may not be getting a Thanksgiving dinner after all? Nah. Archie won’t let anyone stop him from fulfilling his promises to those kids. Not even Hiram Lodge.

Looks like the Lodge Thanksgiving dinner is a flop. Or a drop.

Veronica pulls all the turkey and fixings right off the damn dining room table after she tells her father that he is a monster for shutting down the community club right before Thanksgiving.

Aunt Cricket is spying on Cheryl and Toni. She may be named after an insect, but Cheryl calls her a “nosy old turkey waddle,” and I find that incredibly hilarious. So, Cheryl decides to invite Aunt Cricket to a gruesome Thanksgiving meal. By the look on her face, this event is going to be wicked.

The Riverdale ice storm is NO JOKE. Pop’s diner is all lit up and covered in ice. FP and Alice are there eating and in walks Hiram and Hermione Lodge. While they chow down at Pop’s, Betty and Jughead have a “Charlie Brown style” junk food Thanksgiving via the vending machines. Yum. In come the students dressed up in rabbit masks. Unfortunately, Betty thinks they are there to hurt Jughead, so she knocks one of them out. Hahaha, that’s my girl! Don’t worry, he’s ok.

Dodger’s family shows up at the community center and meet Archie. Dodger’s mom comments that he is just a kid. I wonder if she will still want revenge. Especially since Archie is the reason Dodger is still alive. Things could get very interesting for our sweet Archiekins. Especially when we find that Dodger’s mama has brought a gun. Things get intense, but Archie’s mom saves the day.

Hiram, Hermione, FP, and Alice decide to share a toast to Fred Andrews. FP lets Mayor Lodge know that he will not be his puppet. Then the two get into a bar brawl with all sorts of heavy breathing. It’s a bit much if I must say. Certainly not Thanksgiving-esque, is it? FP does leave before slitting Hiram’s throat with a broken whiskey bottle, so I guess that’s a positive note.

Never have I ever

Jughead NEver Have I EverJughead and Betty play detective at Stonewall Prep with a game of “never have I ever.” They expected Bret and Donna to be honest though, and that isn’t gonna happen. Which means Betty goes snooping while Jughead drinks the shots. She finds a tie pin in Donna’s jewelry box. On the back are the initials of Mr. Chipping, their dead teacher. Dun, Dun, Dun.

Donna was having an affair with Mr. Chipping. She tried to break it off with him, but he got aggressive. She said the next day he jumped out the window. Hmm, I didn’t see that coming, but it seems plausible. Betty has her doubts, but Jughead is feeling empathy. What is the real truth? Will we ever know? Betty suggests that Jughead speak with the headmaster, but I think that would be foolish because it is likely he already knows.

The first Blossom Thanksgiving was apparently incredibly dark. Nana Rose tells the story while they eat. She speaks of the sudden onset of ice and the hunger which set in over the family. A deep aching, gnawing hunger set in, and the Blossom family turned on themselves. Cannibalism. Cheryl then waxes on about how a story such as that could put a damper on the sale of the property. Especially since she claims to have cooked dead Uncle Bedford into their meal. Ugh. Bleck. Gew. So gross. Fortunately, the food was actually lamb, but the girls seem to have gotten rid of their horrible extended family.

Riverdale Thanksgiving. It’s so joyful and triumphant. No, really, it is, because Archie speaks the blessings prior to everyone digging into the delicious food. He says he is grateful to be alive and there with his family and the community center crew. They dedicate the community center to Fred Andrews with a plaque. It is a beautiful dedication to Luke Perry.

Watch again next Wednesday on the CW, or tune back in on The Painted Lines for our recap.