Today it appears that in a moment of utter self-awareness, my joke about the long lines at ComicCon Philly was taken differently than they were meant to be.  The perception it seems was that the line was delivered in some sort of jock-like slam of all of those people being somehow inferior for waiting in line to embrace what they love.

In fact, the comment was in complete embrace of who specifically I am as a person, something that I’ve not always been able to do.  I am one of those people in that line, and probably one toward the front because 1) I love that stuff, too, and 2) I’d get there obscenely early to be one of the first in.

As a kid, i had the D&D Monster Manual and the Dungeon Master’s guide, though I really didn’t have friends that I could play D&D with.  I had a set of yellow die that I colored with one of my little sister’s Crayons and a napkin so that the numbers could be seen.  I had a lot of other types of friends, but nobody to really be a nerd with.  I played sports (wasn’t at all good), went fishing (wasn’t at all good at that, either), stuff like that.  But I could never fully be me, because being a nerd was bad.

Into adulthood, I put on the veneer to be more normal, to be more accepted.  Mostly it worked, sometimes it did not.  When the video for Blind Melon’s song “No Rain” came out, I was the bee girl inside.

So many people were the Bee Girl back then.  That’s why the video, and the song, did so well.  Thank goodness for the Internet, I tell ya.  It showed all of those closeted nerds out there that they weren’t alone, they had a community, and that we could be more mainstream.  We were accepted!

When we created PFO and now The Painted Lines, we opened it up to anyone who had a voice that yearned to be heard.  Although I had been able to join my 100% nerd basketball league that brought the core four together to create this, it wasn’t until we got to TPL that I thought that maybe I could start to be a part of it on the front end, and not just in the back room turning the JetPack plugin on and off to troubleshoot things.  So, I wrote about the hard lives of chickens, and then again about a piano album by a music teacher. I never felt like I had a place to write such things, but lo and behold, in the process of creating a site for Bee Girls and Boys everywhere to write what they love, I too was able to find that home.

So, please.  If ever I poke fun at nerds, geeks, dweebs, or whatever they are these days, know that I do it from a tremendously affectionate place.  You are what I am, and I am so very happy for you that you can be who you are now and be embraced for it. 

Keep being unapologetically you, cuz it’s working for you in the best of ways.  And you are admired.